Sunday, September 12, 2010
do u ever just feel like people r just doing the same things that u r because they just want to be like u get the attention u do and be with u know matter what. well i have a freind that does what evr i do like i sign up for things and he follows what is this all about i wish i could just be me and not hide what i like to do because someone will follow me and do everything like me i try not to let it get to me but its like what am i supposed to do to make myself feel happy. i just want to live and be free and not let others copy exactly what i am doing. i want to be free like a bird sworing above the trees.
do u ever just feel like people r just doing the same things that u r because they just want to be like u get the attention u do and be with u know matter what. well i have a freind that does what evr i do like i sign up for things and he follows what is this all about i wish i could just be me and not hide what i like to do because someone will follow me and do everything like me i try not to let it get to me but its like what am i supposed to do to make myself feel happy. i just want to live and be free and not let others copy exactly what i am doing. i want to be free like a bird sworing above the trees.
Monday, September 6, 2010
chapter 3
hey evryone
when he went to jail it was the hardest for me because i was daddys little girl. when i was in high school i got into a lot of trouble i was getting into so many fights hurting my self and others not knowing what i was doing. i tried to reach out for help so many times but all the time it failed. i was a babysitter fora while at and agency. when i did the babysitting it was the best thing i was doing and i loved it so much. i started out just as a babysitter for these to kids. then oneday i was going to run away and i was stopped by two of the parents that i worked for and they told me to go home. so i listened and one of the parents told my mom that i would be going to her house on the weekend to help her with her kids so that what i started to do.then things got worse during the week so oneday i ended up running away and i did not go home till the nexted day i did not even go to school. my sistewr was really worried about me and thought i left because of her but i did not i left because i could not stand the abuse anymore. then one day my dad gets out of jail and shows up at my moms and tryies to talk to us and we donot want anything to do with him so we walked away and said noting to him and he was told to leave or thew cops would be called.so he left and about a month later a contacted him to try to starts over but it did not work out.
when he went to jail it was the hardest for me because i was daddys little girl. when i was in high school i got into a lot of trouble i was getting into so many fights hurting my self and others not knowing what i was doing. i tried to reach out for help so many times but all the time it failed. i was a babysitter fora while at and agency. when i did the babysitting it was the best thing i was doing and i loved it so much. i started out just as a babysitter for these to kids. then oneday i was going to run away and i was stopped by two of the parents that i worked for and they told me to go home. so i listened and one of the parents told my mom that i would be going to her house on the weekend to help her with her kids so that what i started to do.then things got worse during the week so oneday i ended up running away and i did not go home till the nexted day i did not even go to school. my sistewr was really worried about me and thought i left because of her but i did not i left because i could not stand the abuse anymore. then one day my dad gets out of jail and shows up at my moms and tryies to talk to us and we donot want anything to do with him so we walked away and said noting to him and he was told to leave or thew cops would be called.so he left and about a month later a contacted him to try to starts over but it did not work out.
chapter 2
hey everyone
scarde and alone i sit in silence not making a peep trying to hide so i do not get hurt again but it fails he finds me and hurts me again and again. i try to yell but no words will come out of my mouth. i lye there still as can be and try not to look into his evil eyes and i try to disstance my self away from the family because know one understands what i am going thru. lost and cofused i try to find a different way to exsape. i had a theripist at the time but after like a month my mom stop bring me to c her. my mom also took me off of my meds.it was hard to deal with being depressed and suosdal and bipolor and haveing ptsd to add to it all i was no longer in treatment. when i was in the second hospital my dad called me one day and told me that one of his girlfreinds kids was moving out and i did not know y so i started to yell at him. he said that it had to happen and so i hung up the phone and ran to my room and hide in a couner and began to cry. not knowing what was going on outside of the walls of the hospital. when i went home i was forset to move back in to my mothers house scarde as can be.then i found out my dad was being charged with to counts of sexual misconduct on a minor. i did not know what to beleive at the time so i just went on trying to fight my own battles never winning at them. when i was about 16 my dad went to jail for the first time.
scarde and alone i sit in silence not making a peep trying to hide so i do not get hurt again but it fails he finds me and hurts me again and again. i try to yell but no words will come out of my mouth. i lye there still as can be and try not to look into his evil eyes and i try to disstance my self away from the family because know one understands what i am going thru. lost and cofused i try to find a different way to exsape. i had a theripist at the time but after like a month my mom stop bring me to c her. my mom also took me off of my meds.it was hard to deal with being depressed and suosdal and bipolor and haveing ptsd to add to it all i was no longer in treatment. when i was in the second hospital my dad called me one day and told me that one of his girlfreinds kids was moving out and i did not know y so i started to yell at him. he said that it had to happen and so i hung up the phone and ran to my room and hide in a couner and began to cry. not knowing what was going on outside of the walls of the hospital. when i went home i was forset to move back in to my mothers house scarde as can be.then i found out my dad was being charged with to counts of sexual misconduct on a minor. i did not know what to beleive at the time so i just went on trying to fight my own battles never winning at them. when i was about 16 my dad went to jail for the first time.
chapter 1
hey everyone
i lost my soul when i was a little kid. got made fun of and abused in many different ways. so when i was 13 i dessided to try to take my own life thinking that there was no other way out. i ended up in my first phsyc hospital at the age of 13.I just could not take the abuse of anyone anymore so i thought it would be better to end it all. so while i was in the hospital i was surrounded by kids my own age going thru similar situations of abuse. I was sexualy astalted at the time for 4 years by my older brother.of course no one knew and know one could protect me. i was scared and i felt alone and did not know what to do. i live with my dad at the time and it was a mightmare in progress his girlfreinds kids abused me physicaly and emotionaly it took alot out of me. i tried to fight the erges to hurt myself but they where to strong. so oneday i went to school i always wore long selve shirt and every one started getting susppitous and started to ask questions. one day they told me to lift up my selves and they found the scars of my first attenpt. so they disited to call in for a meeting with my parents and they were told that if i contiuned to hurt myself then i would have to go in to the hospital and i countinued and i ended up in the hospital. then two weeks later i ended up in my second hospital after i got out i had to move back to my mothers.the abusie still was there still feeling alone and scarde.
i lost my soul when i was a little kid. got made fun of and abused in many different ways. so when i was 13 i dessided to try to take my own life thinking that there was no other way out. i ended up in my first phsyc hospital at the age of 13.I just could not take the abuse of anyone anymore so i thought it would be better to end it all. so while i was in the hospital i was surrounded by kids my own age going thru similar situations of abuse. I was sexualy astalted at the time for 4 years by my older brother.of course no one knew and know one could protect me. i was scared and i felt alone and did not know what to do. i live with my dad at the time and it was a mightmare in progress his girlfreinds kids abused me physicaly and emotionaly it took alot out of me. i tried to fight the erges to hurt myself but they where to strong. so oneday i went to school i always wore long selve shirt and every one started getting susppitous and started to ask questions. one day they told me to lift up my selves and they found the scars of my first attenpt. so they disited to call in for a meeting with my parents and they were told that if i contiuned to hurt myself then i would have to go in to the hospital and i countinued and i ended up in the hospital. then two weeks later i ended up in my second hospital after i got out i had to move back to my mothers.the abusie still was there still feeling alone and scarde.
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